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Parents & Educators
This month Elmer talks about bullying and how to deal with bullies.
When having a conversation with children about bullying, here are a few questions and topics you may wish to cover:
What is bullying?
Bullying is a social relationship where an individual repeatedly picks on another individual. It can be physical, verbal or psychological. Bullying is a serious personal safety concern in many Canadian schools. Victims of bullying can experience withdrawal, anxiety and diminished classroom performance. There are also long-term costs to society from bullying behaviour. As they grow up, bullies may transfer their abuse of power on the playground to other forms of harassment, violence or abuse.
How do boys and girls differ in bullying?
Perpetrators are equally likely to be boys or girls. Boys are more likely to be physically aggressive – for instance hitting and shoving – whereas girls are more likely to be verbally aggressive.
What do the bullies want to achieve by their behaviour?
Children often bully because they see others doing it. It may make them feel stronger, smarter, or better that the person they are bullying. They may also see it as a bully or be bullied situation.
Discuss bystanders, and what role they play.
Just by watching, young people become part of bullying. In fact, watchers inadvertently support it; after all, bullies need an audience. Watching someone bully another only reinforces the bad behaviour.
Explain the role of adults in preventing bullying and the need for kids to report incidents.
It’s important to help children tune into their feelings about bullying. Help your children or students identify strategies for dealing with bullies. Encourage kids to speak up against bullying and to get an adult to intervene when they witness it. Talk to them about intervention. They may be afraid to intervene, and that’s okay. They need to be reminded that they should not put themselves in danger. Brainstorm ways on how the child can intervene without becoming a victim him or herself.
Discuss the ways one can intervene.
There are pro-social ways one can intervene – not by simply confronting the bully – but by showing leadership and positive ways to resolve disputes.
As parents and educators the most important role in breaking the bullying cycle is to help children learn empathy by looking for opportunities to teach kindness, tolerance, and acceptance. Bullies and their accomplices need to understand the harm they cause and that their behaviour will not be tolerated.
Victims are often too fearful to ask an adult to intervene, but they can start by calling Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868.
Activities – Quiz
Questions:
- On the playground, boys bully far more than girls.
True False
- Bullying usually happens when other people are around.
True False
- Always leaving someone out of a group is a type of bullying.
True False
- Going to a teacher to help deal with a bully will help make things better.
True False
- Bullies can change the way they behave.
True False
- If you’re “cool” you won’t be bullied.
True False
- Most kids don’t like to see someone bullied.
True False
Answers:
1. False. Girls bully almost as much as boys on the playground.
2. True. Bullies like to show off. Bullying happens in the classroom, in the hallways and on the playground.
3. True. Children who are continually left out of a group feel bullied.
4. True. Sometime getting help from a teacher or a parent is the only thing that will stop the bullying. A bully has too much power. He or she needs someone who is really in power to intervene.
5. True. Kids who bully can learn to have positive relationships and be more sensitive to others’ feelings.
6. False. Anyone can be bullied.
7. True. In a survey, 90 per cent of children said they find it unpleasant to watch bullying.
